Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Creationism? No....Pastafarianism!

In a recent op-ed piece in the NY Times, the Texas Education Industry became the next state to take a step towards the teaching of creationism (God created everything, scientists are wrong) in schools. Christine Corner, the state's top science education expert, was fired from her job after forwarding an email to her colleagues about a pro-evolution group having a forum on the matter. Now in difficult times like these, it is time that we see the light. The light being shown from his noodly appendage. No...I'm not talking about god, but I am speaking about the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM for short).
Many of you may be asking yourselves what the Flying Spaghetti Monster is. Well it's quite simple really, the FSM is the god for the up and coming religion of Pastafarianism. This FSM planted evidence for evolution all throughout the world just to simply test the faiths of his followers soon after he created the world. As for the other sciences, there is no such thing as gravity, but just his noodly appendages pushing down on all of us to keep us placed on his planet. Also, when you go to heaven, you will see that it strictly contains beer volcanoes and a stripper factory.
Now in truth, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is not real, and to be completely blunt, neither is creationism. Both are made up, the only difference is that while creationism was made up as a response to evolution, Pastafarianism was made up as a response to the Kansas school board deciding to teach creationism in its science curriculum. The book's author, Bobby Henderson, wrote it as a satire to the absurdity of creationism saying to the school board in a Colbert-esque fashion, that I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country, and eventually the world; One third time for Intelligent Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence. Just because one is believe by more people in higher positions, does that really make it any more true?

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